


okay.

by reapzo (hancree)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining, Requited Love, clint has abandonment issues probably, matt is reckless and gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 02:57:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13989006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hancree/pseuds/reapzo
Summary: He hates that he could lose this stupid lawyer so easily. He hates that they're both human. He hates that they couldn't have been given powers like Steve or the others because it would have been helpful to y'know; staying alive. He doesn't want to think about the what if's of Matt not coming home.





	okay.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this for my friend cause hes gay and also got me into hawkdevil wow!
> 
> anyways unbeta'd because its 8am and im tired

"This is kind of serious," Clint murmurs. Rain patters against his window persistently. The apartment is dark, except for the little light that's on in the kitchen that casts into the living room. Matt is sprawled across the couch in front of him. Several wounds in various stages of duress mark his abdomen.

"Jesus," Clint whispers. Matt holds almost too still under his fingers as he's patching him up. With a twinge of pain in his heart, he knows this has happened too many times before. The lawyer had a knack of this, but he'd never been this bad before.

"I'm okay, Clint," Matt reassures him, but for some reason Clint doesn't believe him.  
"This is pretty serious," he says, repeating himself for emphasis. Matt flinches as he goes to work patching up a deep gash along his side. It was going to scar. He felt something squirm uncomfortably in his abdomen.

He probably wouldn't have cared half as much if this wasn't Matt Murdock. They'd been friends for awhile now. Allies, too. Matt helped him out when he needed it, and Clint returned the favor. Sometimes that included patching up each other's battle wounds and picking up the pieces of their pride. 

But this was different. Matt had lost a lot of blood and he was in pain, Clint could tell by how silent he was being. Usually the masked man would have been talking and explaining what had happened to him. But right now, Matt was just focusing on his breathing and staring unseeing into the ceiling. 

It didn't help him at all that he had been harboring feelings for the man for months now. Every time Matt wound up on his couch in pain, Clint felt like crying. There was something about this man that made his heart ache. And he hated it.

He hates that he could lose this stupid lawyer so easily. He hates that they're both human. He hates that they couldn't have been given powers like Steve or the others because it would have been helpful to y'know; staying alive. He doesn't want to think about the what if's of Matt not coming home.

Matt drags him out of his thoughts very easily by reaching up and grabbing his hand. Clint feels his chest tighten.  
"I'm okay, Clint," he says. He'll never be used to Matt being able to tell when he was upset, even if he wasn't speaking. He probably heard his heart beat stutter, his breathing pick up. He wasn't sure how Matt figured it out.

There's a long pause. Clint readjusts his grip on the man's hand and gives it a squeeze. Matt squeezes his hand in return. He feels his heart doing a couple somersaults in his chest and he desperately swallows it back.

"But, what if you won't be next time?" Clint hears himself ask. Matt stays very quiet. The expression on his face flickers through different emotions. Sadness. Worry. Anger... Clint wonders what he's thinking and curses himself for not being able to guess.

"I will be oka-"  
"How do you know that?" Clint cuts him off. "How do you know you're going to come home?" Matt turns towards him and Clint knows he can't see him, but he's making eye contact anyways. 

"Matt, I can't lose you. I can't lose you like everyone else," he says. His voice trembles with emotion and he hates it. He hates how vulnerable he is right now. He knows Matt heard his voice shake because there's surprise on the masked man's voice now.

"You won't lose me, Clint," Matt says after a long time. His voice is softer now and Matt pulls him closer. Clint feels his heart racing for a moment.  
"I'm going to keep coming home, I promise," he tells him. Matt holds Clint's hand against his cheek, leans into his palm. Before he leans over and presses a kiss to the inside of Clint's wrist.

Clint feels his heart race, he hears his pulse in his ears. He didn't know what this meant, but it was something other than what he was used to. Matt wasn't an affectionate guy like this. Hope begins to burn somewhere within him like a bonfire.

Matt then pulls on his hand, pulls him closer. That hand lets go of his and he slips a hand in his hair. The smile on his face indicates he's happy with how Clint's heart flutters.  
"I'll keep coming home to you," he murmurs. 

The kiss is quick, gentle, and Clint hums softly. His face is burning and he feels so stupid. He's so stupid for feeling this way. But, Matt feels the same way. Matt feels the same way because when he's pulled into another kiss, it's deep and needy. 

He doesn't ever say his feelings, but Clint knows. He doesn't have to say it. Neither of them do. Maybe that makes it easier because he's not sure what he's feeling yet. But kissing Matt makes the ache in his chest settle, at least for a little while.


End file.
